3 days.
3. entire. days.
I've been put out of commission for 3 days because of how badly my shoulder is hurting.
In my head 3 days is beginning to sound like 3 weeks and that's the scariest thing I've heard in a long time.
3 days closer to competing, having to perform, etc.
It's just plain unsettling.
It's funny how I've had these past weeks to be constantly practicing however much I want to and now that I can't I'm dying to get into a practice room and get to work!
A bit melodramatic you might say?
yeah well not really, between this and seeing my friend, a voice major, with strep, I realize how extremely vital it is that we can do....well...what we do!!!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
It's amazing how far a person's belief in you can push you. Coming into this major I don't think I truly understood the meaning of the word Performance.
So essentially one should grasp that a performance major will be doing a lot of performing. duh. I'm starting to think it's a gift from God that no one told me exactly how much performing; Rep classes, general student recitals, competition preliminaries, studio recital, pops concert, string festival, orchestra concerts, competition finals, chamber music concert, chamber music master classes, juries....all of these are happening before winter break. yeah. it's a little insane.
And I tend to be a nervous person...so...is this really what I'm supposed to be doing?! I'm NOT allowed to make mistakes...essentially not allowed to be nervous. My life is in general freak out mode. I think I really need to practice giving it ALL to God. Not just my life in general or my major...but ever single performance, every single note. Because then it's not for all those people sitting in front of me anymore...it's for God..
is that more stressful....? haha
per·for·mance
| Noun: |
|
So essentially one should grasp that a performance major will be doing a lot of performing. duh. I'm starting to think it's a gift from God that no one told me exactly how much performing; Rep classes, general student recitals, competition preliminaries, studio recital, pops concert, string festival, orchestra concerts, competition finals, chamber music concert, chamber music master classes, juries....all of these are happening before winter break. yeah. it's a little insane.
And I tend to be a nervous person...so...is this really what I'm supposed to be doing?! I'm NOT allowed to make mistakes...essentially not allowed to be nervous. My life is in general freak out mode. I think I really need to practice giving it ALL to God. Not just my life in general or my major...but ever single performance, every single note. Because then it's not for all those people sitting in front of me anymore...it's for God..
is that more stressful....? haha
The Music Major
Constant music. Notes, pieces, pianos, flutes, tubas cellos, every single instrument unites to make a very strange and chaotic symphony in the music building. Students share favorite jazz mixes or orchestras on laptops, and almost everyone has one earphone in -> listening to this semester's goals and dreams for heir instrument. Everyone spends almost every hour of every day in this building and it is like a sanctuary. There is always constant studying, constant listening, and constant practicing to be done, but it all makes sense. There is always a possible and achievable goal to be accomplished and only the student can discover their personalized path to getting there, whether it is successfully playing and singing a scale in solfege backwards, or playing the Lalo violin concerto in GSR. The Music Major is one of the hardest majors, and yet it is also the most satisfying.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
already?!
That moment when procrastination is already hitting me like a train. oh boy
So much to do...and yet so little...motivation to do it!
and time. and strength. and energy.
In other news, tonight is the first youth group at which i'm leading worship, and I'm really excited about it! It'll be a great feeling remembering exactly why i do what i do.
So much to do...and yet so little...motivation to do it!
and time. and strength. and energy.
In other news, tonight is the first youth group at which i'm leading worship, and I'm really excited about it! It'll be a great feeling remembering exactly why i do what i do.
Unreached People Group : ??
When you hear someone say "unreached people groups" what comes to mind?
Personally, I think of people living in the mountains in India, people in Afghanistan, kids in the ghetto...but never people that sit right next to me in orchestra. Sure, they're lost, and I want so badly for them to have the same kind of hope and love that I have thanks to God, but I've never grouped them together.
Imagine that list of unreached people groups in the book of life, the groups that need be crossed out one by one, as we share Jesus, so that He can come back.
Imagine that somewhere on that list it says:
Unreached people group: Classical Musicians.
It seems weird...surely they've heard...but I am positive that if they have, they did not understand, or it wasn't yet God's time. Because as a musician, I know that music is one of the biggest ways one can see God in today's culture, and anyone who has glimpsed and even partially understood what the creator has done for them will not be able to perform without constantly striving to glorify God.
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/1998/october5/8tb086.html?start=1
This article was what caused me to start thinking about my fellow musicians in this way, not as people who have rejected God, but maybe as individuals who haven't been cared for, haven't heard the truth, and haven't understood...just like any other unreached people group in this world.
Yeah...no pressure or anything but I'm totally in contact with an unreached people group every single day! It's a real and out there opportunity to be really out of my comfort zone.
sure, I've gone to Trinidad, Alabama and Urban Promise...but not one of those places for a week was half as hard to be in as the world that a music major has to live in...
Personally, I think of people living in the mountains in India, people in Afghanistan, kids in the ghetto...but never people that sit right next to me in orchestra. Sure, they're lost, and I want so badly for them to have the same kind of hope and love that I have thanks to God, but I've never grouped them together.
Imagine that list of unreached people groups in the book of life, the groups that need be crossed out one by one, as we share Jesus, so that He can come back.
Imagine that somewhere on that list it says:
Unreached people group: Classical Musicians.
It seems weird...surely they've heard...but I am positive that if they have, they did not understand, or it wasn't yet God's time. Because as a musician, I know that music is one of the biggest ways one can see God in today's culture, and anyone who has glimpsed and even partially understood what the creator has done for them will not be able to perform without constantly striving to glorify God.
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/1998/october5/8tb086.html?start=1
This article was what caused me to start thinking about my fellow musicians in this way, not as people who have rejected God, but maybe as individuals who haven't been cared for, haven't heard the truth, and haven't understood...just like any other unreached people group in this world.
Yeah...no pressure or anything but I'm totally in contact with an unreached people group every single day! It's a real and out there opportunity to be really out of my comfort zone.
sure, I've gone to Trinidad, Alabama and Urban Promise...but not one of those places for a week was half as hard to be in as the world that a music major has to live in...
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Oh college
So I can't say that this blog is going to be all seriousness, because...what can I say, I am generally not a very serious person :)
Also, I am a girl, and not that that should give me any right to be "flighty" or "ditzy" I do have problems that aren't always going to involve a verse, or pertain to someone who...say...love sports?
So far my "unimportant" musings in reference to college life have been as follows:
1. There are just as many cliques in college as there were in middle school and high school. sad but true.
2. People really enjoy coffee...should I or should I not attempt to become addicted in order to fit in?
3. I can finally dress like someone who's got taste...cause you can wear whatever you want at college. in my case..a good thing. in others' cases...it's just getting scarier and scarier
4. The amount of red solo cups I see on Monday mornings makes me think Toby Keith hangs out on my campus ever weekend
5. I can tolerate cursing...I really can. but honestly?! do you have to drop the f bomb every two seconds?! It's just so uncool..
6. The minute I meet a guy who passes the test on number five stalking will commence.
7. Something on the top of my bucket list at the moment is for a very handsome guy to ask me for a ride on his motorcycle. once and done...that's all I need!
8. I apparently need pepper spray...
9. If one more guy asks me if i want to come play drinking games at his dorm Friday night...my worthless massive textbooks will finally come in handy.
10. My fashion Mantra for the fall/winter/spring "I REFUSE TO BUY UGGS."
11. Practicing for 10 hours the day before your lesson makes you sound better, but it also makes you unable to perform for said lesson...because your finger tips are bleeding. just saying.
and so ends my musings up until this moment...I am sure I will have many many more!
Also, I am a girl, and not that that should give me any right to be "flighty" or "ditzy" I do have problems that aren't always going to involve a verse, or pertain to someone who...say...love sports?
So far my "unimportant" musings in reference to college life have been as follows:
1. There are just as many cliques in college as there were in middle school and high school. sad but true.
2. People really enjoy coffee...should I or should I not attempt to become addicted in order to fit in?
3. I can finally dress like someone who's got taste...cause you can wear whatever you want at college. in my case..a good thing. in others' cases...it's just getting scarier and scarier
4. The amount of red solo cups I see on Monday mornings makes me think Toby Keith hangs out on my campus ever weekend
5. I can tolerate cursing...I really can. but honestly?! do you have to drop the f bomb every two seconds?! It's just so uncool..
6. The minute I meet a guy who passes the test on number five stalking will commence.
7. Something on the top of my bucket list at the moment is for a very handsome guy to ask me for a ride on his motorcycle. once and done...that's all I need!
8. I apparently need pepper spray...
9. If one more guy asks me if i want to come play drinking games at his dorm Friday night...my worthless massive textbooks will finally come in handy.
10. My fashion Mantra for the fall/winter/spring "I REFUSE TO BUY UGGS."
11. Practicing for 10 hours the day before your lesson makes you sound better, but it also makes you unable to perform for said lesson...because your finger tips are bleeding. just saying.
and so ends my musings up until this moment...I am sure I will have many many more!
Who's pulling the weight here...?
I GOT THIS. or at least that's what I keep telling myself.
After 3 weeks of this craziness called the music major I find myself wishing it was a summer camp. A camp from which I could now go home and then get excited to return to. Instead I have to find it in me to be excited about making music the most important thing in every single waking (and sleeping!) moment for the next four years. Scratch that. I know there is no way in the world I can find that kind of strength on my own...but I do believe God can. I wish I could find a blog entitled "How to survive being a Christian music major" aka "How to survive being One in a Million and not cave".
Sadly, I haven't stumbled upon such a heaven sent blog...but then again have I? Isn't the Bible God's blog for every situation? In the past two weeks I have worked so incredibly heard to stick to the practice rooms in order to avoid having to interact with everyone who was out partying the night before, but is that the advice God's "blog" gives?
This blog isn't a how to survive college/music as a Christian, because I have no idea how the heck that's gonna happen...instead, this blog is going to be me figuring out how to surviving and sharing God's successes and my failures along the way. I want to study God's "blog" from the perspective of where I'm at and what I'm investing myself in everyday. I want to discover others, may they be composers from the baroque or romantic era, or modern band leaders, people who have put their heart and soul into their music all the while remembering that their most important fandom is an audience of one.
So, blow by blow, I'm going to type out how God works in this new part of my life. Because to be perfectly honest, I'm already emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted, and that is because I've been trying to make this "college" thing work all by myself. But I don't have to, no one does...because God is here...all the time, in every practice room, cheering me on, willing me to glorify him with every note.
I GOT THIS.
GODS GOT THIS.
After 3 weeks of this craziness called the music major I find myself wishing it was a summer camp. A camp from which I could now go home and then get excited to return to. Instead I have to find it in me to be excited about making music the most important thing in every single waking (and sleeping!) moment for the next four years. Scratch that. I know there is no way in the world I can find that kind of strength on my own...but I do believe God can. I wish I could find a blog entitled "How to survive being a Christian music major" aka "How to survive being One in a Million and not cave".
Sadly, I haven't stumbled upon such a heaven sent blog...but then again have I? Isn't the Bible God's blog for every situation? In the past two weeks I have worked so incredibly heard to stick to the practice rooms in order to avoid having to interact with everyone who was out partying the night before, but is that the advice God's "blog" gives?
This blog isn't a how to survive college/music as a Christian, because I have no idea how the heck that's gonna happen...instead, this blog is going to be me figuring out how to surviving and sharing God's successes and my failures along the way. I want to study God's "blog" from the perspective of where I'm at and what I'm investing myself in everyday. I want to discover others, may they be composers from the baroque or romantic era, or modern band leaders, people who have put their heart and soul into their music all the while remembering that their most important fandom is an audience of one.
So, blow by blow, I'm going to type out how God works in this new part of my life. Because to be perfectly honest, I'm already emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted, and that is because I've been trying to make this "college" thing work all by myself. But I don't have to, no one does...because God is here...all the time, in every practice room, cheering me on, willing me to glorify him with every note.
GODS GOT THIS.
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