It's amazing how far a person's belief in you can push you. Coming into this major I don't think I truly understood the meaning of the word Performance.

per·for·mance

Noun:

An act of staging or presenting a play, concert, or other form of entertainment.

So essentially one should grasp that a performance major will be doing a lot of performing. duh. I'm starting to think it's a gift from God that no one told me exactly how much performing; Rep classes, general student recitals, competition preliminaries, studio recital, pops concert, string festival, orchestra concerts, competition finals, chamber music concert, chamber music master classes, juries....all of these are happening before winter break. yeah. it's a little insane.

And I tend to be a nervous person...so...is this really what I'm supposed to be doing?! I'm NOT allowed to make mistakes...essentially not allowed to be nervous.  My life is in general freak out mode. I think I really need to practice giving it ALL to God.  Not just my life in general or my major...but ever single performance, every single note.  Because then it's not for all those people sitting in front of me anymore...it's for God..

is that more stressful....? haha